How Wedding Planners Can Craft Personal and Meaningful Ceremonies

Candice Coppola shares tips, examples, and guidance on how wedding planners can help their clients craft more personalized and meaningful wedding ceremony scripts and vows.
Table of Contents
  1. Intro

Written by: Candice Coppola

As a former wedding planner turned business coach for wedding planners - I’ve seen the wedding ceremony from both sides! As a wedding planner, I shared with clients during the planning process that while every detail of the day is important, the most important detail is always the wedding ceremony. It’s the reason why we’re all here! And we need to make sure it feels like the couple and sets the tone for the day. In this article, I want to share with you how you can help your couples craft personal and meaningful ceremonies as a wedding planner.

In the world of weddings, where clients want to blend tradition and personal touches, the search for a ceremony that resonates on a deeply personal level has never been more important. As wedding planners, we’re often tasked with helping our clients figure this out - even though we, ourselves, are not officiants or ceremony experts! I’m pretty sure both you and I got into wedding planning because we love the party (and flowers!), not because we’re passionate about how couples should write their vows. This makes it hard to help your clients figure out the delicate balance between time-honored customs and their own unique story. 

So, how can we help our clients while juggling all our other responsibilities? Let’s talk about how wedding planners can help their clients craft more personalized and meaningful wedding ceremonies.

The Role of a Wedding Planner in Personalizing Ceremonies

First, I think it’s important to acknowledge the role of a wedding planner when it comes to personalizing ceremonies. 

As wedding planners, we wear a lot of hats. Not only are we responsible for managing money, vendors, style, and timing - but we also act as advisors to our clients - helping them personalize every aspect of the wedding day. In many ways, wedding planners are storytellers and it’s our job to help each couple tell their love story through food, entertainment, music, flowers, and their vows. 

With that said, the wedding planner is responsible for helping the couple navigate the endless choices for their ceremony. We make recommendations on vendors such as the officiant, florist, and musicians. We also advise on timing, flow, processional and recessional music, standing order of the bridal party, fashion choices, ceremony programs, readings - and so much more! 

As you can see, the role a wedding planner plays in the ceremony is a lot. 

How to Help Your Clients Write Their Wedding Ceremony Script

Now that you know the role a wedding planner plays in the ceremony, let’s talk about how you can help your clients begin to personalize it. 

Since every couple is unique, this process begins with understanding the couple's values, preferences, and the experiences that have shaped their relationship. But we also have to consider their culture, religion, and societal traditions. It can be a challenging finding different ways to fuse all these elements together and make sense of every story that’s significant to the couple.

We often look back to previous weddings we’ve planned for inspiration, and honestly, spend a lot of time searching for ideas to pitch to our clients on Google. Between all our other responsibilities, researching ceremony ideas can take a lot of time and the internet doesn’t always yield the best results. Plus, most of the information out there feels either cookie cutter or really disjointed, making it that much more difficult to give your client unique ideas for their ceremony. 

Afterall, your clients don’t want a copy and paste wedding - which is why they hired you! But with the advancement of AI and tools like Provenance, all of this has gotten MUCH easier.

Ways a Wedding Planner Can Help Set Up a Friend/Family Member Officiant for Success

As more couples choose to have a friend or family member officiate their wedding, the role of the wedding planner in guiding these novice officiants becomes crucial. A personal connection to the couple adds a heartfelt touch to the ceremony, but it also comes with its challenges. Here are strategies wedding planners can employ to ensure a smooth and memorable ceremony:

  • Provide Officiant Script Writing Tools (that incorporate blocking): Offering a tool like the Provenance Ceremony Builder can help the couple get inspiration, tips, and guidance for what they’re looking for. It also helps the officiant organize their thoughts and cover all the essential parts of the ceremony. This script can then be personalized with anecdotes, quotes, and elements specific to the couple’s story.
  • Rehearsal Coordination: Organize a detailed rehearsal, guiding the officiant through their role, positioning, and timing. This practice session is vital for building confidence and ensuring all ceremony elements flow seamlessly.
  • Legal Requirements and Documentation: Inform the officiant about the legalities involved in officiating a wedding, including how to become ordained if necessary and the process for filing the marriage license. Ensuring these details are handled correctly is paramount.
  • Public Speaking Tips: Offer tips for effective public speaking, such as pacing, projection, and engaging with the audience. This advice can be particularly helpful for those who may not have previous experience speaking in front of large groups. Offer to connect them with a Provenance Pro if they would like some extra oomph. 

Assisting the Stressed-Out Couple with Writing Their Vows

Writing vows can be one of the most daunting tasks for couples amidst their wedding planning. As a wedding planner, you can provide invaluable support to ease this stress and help them craft vows that truly represent their feelings and promises to each other.

  • Vow Writing Tools: Share helpful tools like the Provenance Vow Builder to guide the couple through the vow writing process. It offers prompts to help them articulate their feelings and commitments, and then an easy way to translate all o that into words.
  • Provide Resources and Inspiration: Share resources like books, poems, and articles that can inspire the couple. Highlighting parts of their relationship story or themes in their love can spark ideas for their vows.
  • Set Deadlines: Help the couple manage their time by setting soft deadlines for drafts and revisions. This structure can prevent last-minute stress and ensure they’re satisfied with their final vows. 
  • Encourage Personal Reflection: Suggest that each partner spend some time alone reflecting on their relationship, the reasons they fell in love, and their dreams for the future. Personal reflection can lead to genuine and heartfelt vows.
  • Feedback and Reassurance: Offer to review their vows and provide constructive feedback. The Vow Builder helps them ensure their vows are balanced in length and tone, and through the Wedding Planner Portal, you’ll get access to their progress. Reassurance from a professional can boost their confidence in what they’ve written, ensuring their vows are a true reflection of their bond.

Embracing Technology: How To Use AI To Plan Wedding Ceremonies

In the digital age, technology is a game-changer in how ceremonies are crafted and how we as wedding planners can help our clients create personalized and meaningful ceremonies. 

Provenance, with its AI-driven capabilities, offers wedding planners a treasure trove of features designed to help them personalize weddings. From generating ceremony ideas that align with the couple's love story to suggesting rituals that reflect their cultural background or personal interests, Provenance acts as a co-creator in the planning process. This tool empowers planners to offer a bespoke ceremony blueprint, ensuring every element resonates with the couple's journey.

Unearthing Wedding Ceremony Ideas: A Collaborative Process

The journey to a personal and meaningful ceremony is a collaborative one involving the couple, the officiant, their families, and you - the wedding planner! Here are ideas on how you can personalize your couples wedding ceremony, adding meaningful and unique touches:

Deep Dive into the Couple's Narrative: 

Encourage couples to share their story. How did they meet? What challenges have they overcome together? What are their shared values? Answers to these questions can inspire unique ceremony elements, such as incorporating a love letter exchange or designing a ritual that symbolizes their journey.

Cultural and Family Traditions: 

Explore the couple's cultural backgrounds and family traditions. What have other family members done at their wedding ceremonies? Are there any significant moments, readings, or musical elements from the past (like something their grandparents did, for example) that could be incorporated into the ceremony? One thing I love about Provenance is that it can help identify customs that can be adapted or blended to create a ceremony that honors both families' heritages.

Interests and Hobbies: 

Integrating the couple's interests or hobbies into the wedding ceremony script adds a layer of personalization. For instance, a couple passionate about travel could include a globe-signing ritual instead of a traditional guest book! 

Venue with a Story: 

Perhaps the couple has chosen a special location for their ceremony - like the church their parents met in, or the beach they met on! I think the location where a couple is having there ceremony can play a role in how you personalize the ceremony script.

Customized Vows and Readings:

Guide couples in writing their vows or selecting readings that reflect their values and dreams. One Provenance feature I love is that it can suggest meaningful quotes or literature that align with their story. It has thousands of quotes and options available!

Symbolic Rituals: 

Create or adapt rituals that symbolize the couple's bond. This could be anything from a sand ceremony representing the blending of two families to planting a tree to symbolize growth and strength in their relationship.

This is one of the reasons why I love of cutting-edge wedding planning tools like Provenance, which was designed specifically to help couples personalize their wedding ceremonies. Provenance makes it so easy for wedding planners in the industry to help their clients tailor ceremonies that not only celebrate love but also encapsulate the essence of the couple's journey together!


How can couples personalize their wedding ceremony scripts?

Personalizing a wedding ceremony script involves incorporating elements unique to their relationship. They should incorporate their love story, values, and significant experiences. They can also include custom vows, meaningful readings, and special rituals that reflect their journey together. By inviting them to use Provenance’s Ceremony Builder, they’ll have everything they need to make this moment feel like them.

What should be included in a wedding ceremony script?

A wedding ceremony script typically includes a welcome message, readings or poems, the exchange of vows, the ring exchange and declaration of intent, any special rituals (like unity candles or sand ceremonies), and the pronouncement of marriage. The couple can personalize each section to reflect their personalities and love story.

How do I help couples who are stressed about writing their wedding vows?

Tell the couple to start by reflecting on your relationship, the challenges you’ve overcome, and your dreams for the future. They should consider what they love most about their partner and their promises to each other. They should be sincere and speak from the heart. You can invite them to use Provenance’s Vow Builder so they can share their authentic, scattered thoughts and it’ll help them organize it all into their dream vows.

Can a wedding planner help with the officiant script?

Yes, wedding planners can assist in crafting an officiant script by providing structure, suggesting personalized elements, ensuring the ceremony reflects the couple's values and story, and incorporate the important blocking elements. They can liaise with the officiant to include specific requests from the couple. All of these elements are a part of the ceremony builder experience

What are some unique elements couples can include in their wedding ceremony script?

Unique elements can range from personalized vows, incorporating your heritage through traditional rituals, to creative gestures like a love letter exchange, custom music compositions, or incorporating hobbies and interests into the ceremony. The couple can discuss with their officiant to find elements that resonate with their story.

How to officiate a wedding that’s personal and meaningful?

To officiate a personal and meaningful wedding, get to know the couple’s story, understand their values, and include anecdotes or quotes that are significant to them. Use a tone that matches the couple’s personalities and ensure the ceremony reflects their unique bond and journey together.

What are the best practices for choosing ceremony readings?

Encourage them to choose readings that resonate with their relationship and the message you want to convey. Consider literature, poetry, religious texts, or even song lyrics that reflect your values or love story. You or their officiant can help select readings that are meaningful to them, and Provenance has 600+ options in their Readings and Rituals library to help them get started.

How can technology assist in planning a wedding ceremony?

Technology, especially AI-driven tools like Provenance, can help personalize wedding ceremonies by suggesting unique ideas, rituals, and readings based on the couple’s story and preferences. It can also streamline communication between couples, planners, and vendors, making the planning process more efficient.

About Candice Coppola, Business Coach For Wedding Planners

Candice Coppola is an author, podcast host, business coach and entrepreneur who believes that you shouldn't have to do business (or happy hour!) alone.

As a successful entrepreneur who grew a wedding planning business from the spare bedroom of her home into a multi-country, multi-six figure company - it's safe to say she's navigated the bumpy road of entrepreneurship.

She started her first company, Jubilee Events, during the great recession in 2008. With NO experience and NO contacts, she grew it into a recognizable brand and team. Over 12 years, she worked with clients from all over the world and produced events in excess of 1M.

Candice's work and voice can be seen in many publications such as The New York Times, InStyle Magazine, Martha Stewart Weddings, and most notably in her two books The White Dress in Color: Inspirations for the Modern Bride, and The White Dress Destinations: The Definitive Guide to Planning the New Destination Wedding.

After selling her business in 2019 she shifted her focus to helping wedding planners like you grow a profitable business with purpose. She offers education and business templates for wedding planners inside her signature community, The Planner’s Playbook. 

Her favorite color is pink, she's obsessed with all things skincare + bravo TV, she's always overdressed, and now lives in beautiful Barbados with her husband and two pups. Catch her on Instagram for business advice and tips–but stay for the island life and house plants.

About Provenance 

Provenance is a new technology startup modernizing ceremony design, starting with weddings. Provenance already has tens of thousands of couples, officiants, guests, and wedding planners using their easy-to-use, collaborative tools that help couples from all backgrounds craft hyper-personalized wedding ceremonies, vows, and toasts. Their comprehensive suite of services includes their AI-supported Ceremony Builder, Vow Builder, and Toast Builder, complemented by talented White House speechwriters, comedy screenwriters, and public speaking coaches for hire.

Candice Coppola shares tips, examples, and guidance on how wedding planners can help their clients craft more personalized and meaningful wedding ceremony scripts and vows.
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