While a wedding is meant to be a celebratory event, naturally we think about the people we wish could be there with us. There are many ways to honor deceased family and friends in your wedding. One of those ways is to include a moment of silence in your wedding ceremony script. Below you'll find sample examples shared by The Dinner Party and Provenance communities.
At this time, we'd also like to take a moment of silence to remember those who are with us today solely in spirit.
[Partner 1’s] grandparents, [First and last name]
[Partner 2’s] grandparents, [First and last name]
[Partner’s] parent, [first and last name]
*PAUSE FOR MOMENT OF SILENCE*
May they live in our hearts forever. Thank you.
“____ and ____ believe that this day would not be possible without the many who have stood with them, who have helped them become themselves. That conviction necessitates that we recognize now those who we carry with us today- those who couldn’t join us for any number of reasons, and we also pause and think of those they’ve lost- including _____, [and then include the relation.]”
________, take this in. All of these people - your tribe - have traveled here - to bear witness to the most important decision of your lives.
But looking out, we also see some empty spaces. So I’d like to invite a few more people to pull up a chair and join us today. And if you were lucky enough to love any of these people, please take a moment to conjure them up in your own minds and help bring them here.
[List of relations and names whose spirits you’d like in the space with you, include any notes “who would have especially loved to see this day”, any particular gifts they’ve given you “your dad is here in your unquenchable addiction to sports, in your all American good looks and big dimples, he’s here in the chip on your tooth – the result of an intensely competitive basketball game between a grown man and a five year old.”]
SAMPLE 4: (for those who have been together through the loss:)
There is something profound about a relationship that knows that life together means weathering both joy and hardship. You arrive today having accompanied each other through [include other details], and you’ve accompanied each other through the loss of [ex: Partner 1’s mom, name]. [pause].
Consider all of the details you might have included from the suggestions above, and invite your officiant to nod to them in your ceremony. You may even have the officiant explain why that was the detail you chose, or give your guests instruction on how to engage with those details.
For example, if you chose to include some of their favorite flowers, your officiant could say something like: “You’ll notice the white roses in all of the arrangements, which was Amy’s mom’s favorite flower, We invite you to honor her memory with us every time you, too, notice and appreciate those white rose details in this day.”
To add these directly into your ceremony script, check out the Provenance Ceremony Builder.
For more resources on grief, check out The Dinner Party.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs):
Q1: How long should the moment of silence be in a wedding ceremony?
A1: The duration of the moment of silence is entirely up to you. It can range from a few seconds to a minute or more. Consider the overall flow of your ceremony and choose a length that allows for reflection without disrupting the rhythm of the event. Your officiant can practice it out loud with someone to see what feels like an appropriate amount of time, and then write that into their script.
Q2: Can the moment of silence be customized for different cultural or religious traditions?
A2: Absolutely! The beauty of a moment of silence is its versatility. It can be adapted to accommodate different cultural or religious customs. Work with your officiant to ensure that the moment of silence is respectful and aligns with your traditions.