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10 Ways To Ask Your Friend or Family Member To Be Your Officiant

Your wedding day is one of the most special days of your life. You want everything to be perfect, including who officiates your wedding ceremony. Choosing the right officiant can be a daunting task, but once you’ve found the one, it’s time to pop the question. Since typically only one partner will propose to the other, it can be fun to team up to brainstorm how to "propose" to your officiant. Here are ten ways to ask someone to be your wedding officiant:

1. Host a Game Night

If your potential wedding officiant is a fan of board games or video games, consider hosting a game night and using the games to reveal the big question. You could have them draw a special card or uncover a secret message that asks them to be your wedding officiant.

2. Send Them a Customized Puzzle

For a more hands-on approach, consider sending your potential wedding officiant a customized puzzle. You can have it made with a photo of you and your partner, and include a message that reveals the question once the puzzle is completed.

3. Invite Them on a Scavenger Hunt

If your potential wedding officiant is up for a challenge, invite them on a scavenger hunt that ends with the big question. You could leave clues at special locations that are significant to your relationship, with the final clue leading them to a special surprise that asks them to be your wedding officiant.

4. Write a Song or Poem

If you're musically inclined or a wordsmith, consider writing a song or poem to ask your potential wedding officiant to marry you. You can perform it for them in person or send them a video or audio recording.

5. Make a Donation in Their Name

If your potential wedding officiant is passionate about a particular cause or charity, consider making a donation in their name and including a message that asks them to be your wedding officiant. This gesture shows that you not only care about them but also support the causes they care about.

6. Take Them Out to Dinner at Their Favorite Spot

Taking your potential officiant out to dinner is a great way to ask them to officiate your wedding. It’s a more personal approach and gives you the opportunity to discuss your wedding plans in more detail. You can also use this time to explain why you chose them to officiate your wedding.

7. Make Them Their Favorite Homemade Meal

Spending the time to cook for your officiant can show them how grateful you are for the time they're going to invest in making your ceremony perfect. It can also feel more intimate than going out if that's more their style.

8. Make a Video

If you’re feeling creative, consider making a video to ask someone to be your wedding officiant. You can include footage of your relationship, your proposal, and your wedding planning process. Make sure to include a heartfelt message that explains why you chose them to officiate your wedding.

9. Send Them a Gift Box

Sending a gift box to ask someone to be your wedding officiant is a unique and thoughtful gesture. You can include items that are meaningful to your relationship, such as photos, mementos, or their favorite snacks. Make sure to include a heartfelt message that explains why you chose them to officiate your wedding.

10. Get Down On One Knee (Both You and Your Partner)

It could be fun to recreate your own proposal by getting down on one knee with your partner and filming their reaction.

Remember, when choosing a wedding officiant, it's important to pick someone who you trust and who can help make your special day unforgettable. And when asking them to officiate your wedding, make it a moment that's unique and special to you as a couple. And if you're down to capture their surprise, it can be a fun memory to look back on (and/or post).


Q: Can I have more than one officiant at my wedding?

A: Yes! You can have multiple officiants at your wedding, as long as they are legally qualified and you feel comfortable with them. They can both craft your ceremony using

Q: Can a family member or friend officiate my wedding?

A: Yes! Laws defer by state/county, so click here to learn more about how to check if your officiant can legally marry you.

Q: How do I incorporate cultural or religious traditions into my wedding ceremony?

A: If you want to incorporate cultural or religious traditions into your wedding ceremony, discuss this with your officiant and check out Provenance's 300+ rituals and readings. From there you can you incorporate these elements into your ceremony in a way that is respectful and meaningful.

Q: Is it okay to ask someone who isn’t religious to officiate my wedding?

A: Absolutely! Your wedding officiant doesn’t have to be religious. You can choose anyone who is legally qualified and who you feel comfortable with.

Q: How early should I ask someone to officiate my wedding?

A: It’s best to ask someone to officiate your wedding as early as possible. This will give them plenty of time to prepare and plan for your special day. Consider asking them at least 8 months in advance, and they'll likely start interviewing you 3-5 months in advance.

Ready to design a meaningful and personalized wedding ceremony with your officiant? Sign up for’s Ceremony Designer today! Our digital tools will help you create the perfect wedding ceremony, vows, and toasts that are unique to you and your partner.

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